When it's close . . .

Many will start the journey with you, but few will finish it. Ones that start as your biggest supporters, sometimes turn against you. The words of encouragement turn to words of dismay, disgust - just to name a few. I know when I am close to my competition (ie: 4 weeks out or less) because of the remarks I get. At your weakest time, people abandon you. Sometimes because they can't stand that you've made such drastic changes while they've made none. Or because they can only be around people who drink or eat junk. While that's fun, you would really think a true friendship should have nothing to do with those things. People think you are 'too skinny', 'too muscle-y', unfeminine, just to name a few. You can feel so AWESOME about your body, your improvements, how far you've come, just for some selfish ignorant person to tear you down in a few seconds. At the time when you are most in your own head, full of nervousness and doubt. In our society people think this is ok, but you don't see us going around saying how 'fat you are, I don't think it's pretty, you look unhealthy, you should eat better..". I would never do such a thing, and I love helping people, but it's so amazing how the opposite seems to be acceptable, maybe because they think we can handle it. So the last few weeks, you pull back, concentrate on you, keeping yourself together and mentally focused and cling to the few around you who just GET IT. Who understand, and don't judge and help you keep your sanity.

 

  

Its all mental

So im 8 weeks out with no hope for a cheat meal except my birthday,  thank god for that at least. If you think dieting is hard...you aint seen nothing. There are NO EXCUSES.  your mind will play tricks on you. One minute you'll think you look great... the next you'll feel fat or flat and feel like giving up. Others don't notice the day to day fluctuations and changes...but you do. Your friends will tell you that you look great or that you're getting too skinny or muscular.  Strangers will come up and tell you that you look unhealthy (as their fat ass is shoveling junk food.. .lets be real!) They may decide to vent to you about how bodybuilders are "out of control" and say stupid things like "men don't like that"  Haha! Real men do. at least in our world!  ;) You will hear them, doubt them and beleive them. You will pose in front of the mirror with pride. .and then you will refuse to look in it. You will try not to self-sabatage by being to easy or too hard on yourself. You will sit there and watch your friends drink while you have water. You will watch them eat. You will see them dance the night away as you yawn and think about how hungry and tired you are and how you can make your exit...if you are still trying to be social.

This is not normal. This is for an extreme look which requires extreme measures.  Your friends will go from admiring you and following you to thinking you are too much. They won't understand and thats ok. People will ask how you do it, or want to do it with you but most will stop within the first week.

You will have cravings for things that are otherwise healthy but still not allowed for you. You will chew gum like Its a food group. You will get tired and moody. You will get mad at yourself for being tired and moody. you will start glaring at other peoples food, partly cuz your jealous and partly cuz you can't believe they eat that way on a daily basis.

You will do this because you are an Athlete. because nonone else will. Because you want more. Because doing it only half-ass does not get you that trophy.