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Its all mental

So im 8 weeks out with no hope for a cheat meal except my birthday,  thank god for that at least. If you think dieting is hard...you aint seen nothing. There are NO EXCUSES.  your mind will play tricks on you. One minute you'll think you look great... the next you'll feel fat or flat and feel like giving up. Others don't notice the day to day fluctuations and changes...but you do. Your friends will tell you that you look great or that you're getting too skinny or muscular.  Strangers will come up and tell you that you look unhealthy (as their fat ass is shoveling junk food.. .lets be real!) They may decide to vent to you about how bodybuilders are "out of control" and say stupid things like "men don't like that"  Haha! Real men do. at least in our world!  ;) You will hear them, doubt them and beleive them. You will pose in front of the mirror with pride. .and then you will refuse to look in it. You will try not to self-sabatage by being to easy or too hard on yourself. You will sit there and watch your friends drink while you have water. You will watch them eat. You will see them dance the night away as you yawn and think about how hungry and tired you are and how you can make your exit...if you are still trying to be social.

This is not normal. This is for an extreme look which requires extreme measures.  Your friends will go from admiring you and following you to thinking you are too much. They won't understand and thats ok. People will ask how you do it, or want to do it with you but most will stop within the first week.

You will have cravings for things that are otherwise healthy but still not allowed for you. You will chew gum like Its a food group. You will get tired and moody. You will get mad at yourself for being tired and moody. you will start glaring at other peoples food, partly cuz your jealous and partly cuz you can't believe they eat that way on a daily basis.

You will do this because you are an Athlete. because nonone else will. Because you want more. Because doing it only half-ass does not get you that trophy.

12 Weeks out - Emerald Cup, May 3rd

Ok, So I am starting out at approximately 133lbs, and 19% Body Fat. I am adding my cardio back in(I had given up my bike in Cycle class so that more members could take my class) and cutting my cheats down. I have gotten tired of chicken so I am switching those 2 meals to 1) Salmon and 1) Tilapia. Because the Salmon also has fat, I will be cutting the fat serving(either almonds or avocado) out of that meal.

I just peeked at my new workout plan! I am now starting Month 5 of the Advanced Muscle Tone & Firm on the Workout Trainer by Muscle & Fitness. It is a LOT of stuff I do NOT do, which is also why I like it. It challenges me, teaches me and pushes me. This month there are Plyo's and Olympic Lifts. It looks like HEAVY on the legs(and other areas) because there are some SHORT sets of SHORT reps! My legs need it! My arms are pretty 'big' now, I'm happy with my shoulders...abs need to lose the fat a bit more over them...the legs are getting lines just want them to be a little fuller. I don't want to lean out and just look 'stringy' if that makes sense?

NPC Emerald Cup - 8 weeks out

Well, we're at 8 weeks out! This week I took some progress pics finally and also sent them to Sara. She asked if I was still having fruit which I am. 1/2 banana on my hard days and 6 or so strawberries on my lighter days. She told me no more cheat days except for my Birthday. Which I needed her to tell me. This is going to be a BIG show and I want to present at my best EVER. So as of today, I am down to 131lbs, approximately 17.7% BF so down about 1%. My goal is approximately 12% at 125lbs. (Lower % if possible, my first year I was 9% so I'd like to see what I look like there.)

 
March 5th 2013                                                                   March 8th 2013

So I need to KILL myself the next few weeks because I have a fitness conference Thursday - Sunday. So instead of my normal 2 days rest, I need to start RIGHT OVER tomorrow to get all 5 lifts in before the 4 day conference(which is all workouts) and then RIGHT back into Day 1 lift on Monday. So about 19 days straight. Right now my back is locking up and I should be going to the chiropractor. When it locks up I can feel my spine, it cracks a lot, and my low back is tight. I can't move my neck/head that much. I am in pain around T4(thoracic) and my neck. I don't like to take meds, but I'm taking some now. I try to stretch a lot, hang to decompress my spine and roll on my foam roller.

 
Our Mantra                                                                             This week's food

So I did my lift...it was short, and hey, I'm not stupid so I didn't do my Cleans or Jump Rope. My back was trying to give out on the BB Front Squats and I tried one clean and I could hear my back crunching. I did a nice 30mins on the stairs instead of the treadmill.


Makin' it happen

< 9 Weeks out - NPC Emerald Cup

So the last time I checked, I was 132lbs and about 18% BF. STILL. Ok, I did drop a bit last week finally after cutting the carbs our of meal 5. But it was a ROUGH week, and I got fed up. So, I kinda acted like a "normal" person this weekend. :O Like my bad day is probly someone else's good day but in the Bodybuilding World, and in prep mode, it was HORRIBLE. Of course, I actually filled out and felt like I looked better. LOL. So I am all back on track and KILLING it this week! Today I taught my 2 Aqua classes, then subbed PowerFlex, then did my own lift. (Cycle I taught off bike as the class is just so packed I give up mine).

So, now I am feeling my back. Today, lying on the bench teaching class I could FEEL my right shoulder blade was farther back as it was pushing into the bench. Every movement was finding knots and my shoulders kept wanting to slip out. (They sublux/partially dislocate). My low spine is acting funny...even doing a plank, I can feel my vertebrae clicking as I breathe. My low back, everything is TIGHT and off. Basically, I'm totally twisted. Time for an adjustment but I'm worried how/if this will continue and if it will affect/impede my workouts.

  

Meal 5: Changing the veggies, stir fry mix from #safeway with chicken.
Meal 3: trying to like turkey again using the 15% for my fatty protein. With brown rice. Used minced garlic and onions with garlic salt.
The rest pretty much the same. Pre-workout #bodyfortress NOS blast or #bsn no-xplode, post-workout #isagenix Isalean Pro and #vitargo

So, I'm not perfect. I've done this for 10 years on and off. I've dieted myself like crazy, I've been super strict, and I've had to lose the same 20lbs (25 this time) over and over again. I know my body. I know it stopped responding last year. This is MY journey and I can choose my own goals and approach. I'm already way ahead of where I was last year. I let myself cheat and now I'm happy to be back on track. I have 7 more pounds to drop in the next 9 weeks. Not counting what I drop the last week with water. I wish the numbers would go down more, but I can see the difference. And so can everyone else.