< 9 Weeks out - NPC Emerald Cup

So the last time I checked, I was 132lbs and about 18% BF. STILL. Ok, I did drop a bit last week finally after cutting the carbs our of meal 5. But it was a ROUGH week, and I got fed up. So, I kinda acted like a "normal" person this weekend. :O Like my bad day is probly someone else's good day but in the Bodybuilding World, and in prep mode, it was HORRIBLE. Of course, I actually filled out and felt like I looked better. LOL. So I am all back on track and KILLING it this week! Today I taught my 2 Aqua classes, then subbed PowerFlex, then did my own lift. (Cycle I taught off bike as the class is just so packed I give up mine).

So, now I am feeling my back. Today, lying on the bench teaching class I could FEEL my right shoulder blade was farther back as it was pushing into the bench. Every movement was finding knots and my shoulders kept wanting to slip out. (They sublux/partially dislocate). My low spine is acting funny...even doing a plank, I can feel my vertebrae clicking as I breathe. My low back, everything is TIGHT and off. Basically, I'm totally twisted. Time for an adjustment but I'm worried how/if this will continue and if it will affect/impede my workouts.

  

Meal 5: Changing the veggies, stir fry mix from #safeway with chicken.
Meal 3: trying to like turkey again using the 15% for my fatty protein. With brown rice. Used minced garlic and onions with garlic salt.
The rest pretty much the same. Pre-workout #bodyfortress NOS blast or #bsn no-xplode, post-workout #isagenix Isalean Pro and #vitargo

So, I'm not perfect. I've done this for 10 years on and off. I've dieted myself like crazy, I've been super strict, and I've had to lose the same 20lbs (25 this time) over and over again. I know my body. I know it stopped responding last year. This is MY journey and I can choose my own goals and approach. I'm already way ahead of where I was last year. I let myself cheat and now I'm happy to be back on track. I have 7 more pounds to drop in the next 9 weeks. Not counting what I drop the last week with water. I wish the numbers would go down more, but I can see the difference. And so can everyone else.

Training Weeks 3 - 5

Sooooo,.....I got a little behind! I've been eating pretty much the same thing/meals as I showed you previously. I dropped to approximately 133lbs and 19% Body Fat. I let myself have a few cheats on the weekends...gave up my bike a few times in my Cycle class so participates could join. Now....I'm at 12 weeks out! (More on that in the next blog!) Here's a summary of my progress:

  
  
  

    

Training goals for 2012-2013

As I've been taking time off to recoup and deal with life's challenges, I haven't stopped thinking about my training. While I miss my leanness, it's been nice to be free, sometimes TOO much at times! I definitely have enjoyed not having my shoulders feel broken among other things. I've been thinking, and researching and just trying to absorb all the infromation I can to embark on my new training journey.

I have worked with many coaches over the years, and I have loved all of them! I have learned so much! And as this is my profession, I also want to try what I learn and see what I can do. My MAIN focus is to find BALANCE, and something STABLE. I am SO over this diet yo-yo. I am going to really take my time to prep this season so that I can see what works for me, and what I can do without driving myself into a fit of Safeway cake. lol.

Mind you I am NOT where I want to be currently. I gained, let's just say, "A - LOT". I will of course post my progress photos once I am back where I want to be. So, In MY head I'm fat. Like Michellin Man FAT! Everyone around me thinks that's retarded and I look great. HA! Thank God for Spandex! lol However, I have it stuck in my head that I will build during the Holidays. Pretty Typical. And I'm excited about it! So I have been trying harder to lean out lately, I only have 2 more weeks to go! Now in my building process I'm not going to try to gain a lot of fat, I have 3 months so I can build slowly, but so far I think I will be able to build pretty well ;) I do have a little catch-up to do, but so far things are coming back, even after just a week. Last time I gained 1 lb in 2 weeks(supposedly). So 3 months to build.

AFTER New Years', I'll start my 3 month leaning phase. Now, here's the other reason Im starting 'early'. My Birthday is in March. Also the Arnold is in March. Last year, for my Birthday I was on the 3rd day of a carb depletion for the NPC Gov Cup. UGH! I am celebrating my Birthday this time! So I am making time for that, then back to it HARD for the final adjustments.

Of course, this can change at any time. I could find something I want to try and change course. I can do that ;) Because I am the one making the rules, it's easier for me to look forward to it. Because I can also let myself have a treat if I start to go nuts. But, I had to come back to this frame of mind. A month ago, two months ago when I was constantly breaking down on the freeway and dealing with my cat's cancer and mulitple surgeries, amputation and possible death....You couldnt get me away from a damn piece of cake. A few weeks ago, when I almost blacked out teaching a class and was breathless going up the gym stairs because I was having such high anxiety, I was in FEAR of working out. Can you imagine? ME - AFRAID of the gym?? WTH? Life happens. I have learned to accept the things I cannot change, work my azz off to change what I can, and get through it the best I know how, because I know where my roots are, and where my heart is. Sometimes all the 'motivational quotes' make you feel like you have to be 100% on or your...what? Lazy, making excuses, etc. I'm an 80% / 20% kinda gal. No one's perfect. I'M not  perfect. But if you do your best, most of the time...I think that's what counts.

If you are curious about my influences, I have been following Mike McErlane, who created Muscle&Fitness' Workout Trainer. He also for some reason saw fit to put lil ole' me in the Q&A Trainer section. I absolutely LOVE following Jim Stoppani, PhD. Could YOU see him in goggles and a lab coat?? To be able to have someone empirically describe how the body actually works in relation to bodybuilding is just amazing to me.  Also like reading Lee Labrada's articles as well. So i will be using a lot of what I have gotten from them, along with my own journals, and of course, education. I do have 6 years of college/graduate education in Exercise Physiology....not to mention about 30 different certifications. I should be able to handle this 'client', right? ;)

Post-Traumatic Diet Issues

Competing is not something i would ever recommend to someone with even a SLIGHT eating disorder. I get scared enough when I have clients that try insane things to lose weight(I don't mean theories, I mean I've had clients take drugs, take out all carbs, eat only salad, think if they work out 8hrs a day to burn 3,500cals they can lose a pound a day, etc etc). I would gear them more to a performance based goal so they can see their progress and eat to fuel their work. Competing in the bodybuildling world is completely judged on appearance, and leanness. You can be THE ROCKSTAR at your gym - but it's just not good enough. Cuz onstage, you can still be nothing. You start hating every ounce of fat on your body, and umm...HELLO?! We're women, we REQUIRE body fat! Not just for survival and brain function, but hips, ass, boobs, etc. CURVES! This is my story of how I deal with it.

 

I have always had an issue with my diet. Whether its that i get bored, i like trying different diets, i love food, oh I LOVE eating at different restaurants!...whatever. I binge eat. I dont purge, i dont go to the gym and workout like crazy. I just EAT! I accept it. Because i know that the rest of the time this is not a problem. So when i come off a show, even though i like my food and think ill be ok, once i start eating, its like i cant stop. This is not uncommon in this sport. But you go off track and then have to lose it all to start again.I can gain 20lbs in 2 weeks. Funny enough, last time, people noticed my changes within DAYS when I was leaning out. I gained 20lbs in 2 weeks, no one noticed. And I asked. lol

Protein Donuts! Recipe on my blog!

Now, this has always been me. I will eat anything not nailed down for 2 weeks, and then ill just kinda forget to eat for a few. Ill get busy at work or what have you so it always evens itself out. Maybe my body's way of coping with the stress i put it through.But when you diet, things get blurry, especially if you are dieting HARD. You get wrapped up in it all.  You start feeling like you can NEVER eat NORMAL again, whatever "normal" is to you. You feel like society will look down on you if you have dinner with your family. If you are calculating your ratios on your own, you may find yourself stranded at the end of the day with a calculator and notepad trying to figure out how you can get x amount of calories that are left with them being x grams of y. OMG!

And sometimes you just have to stop the madness and come back to the real world for a bit and regroup. Step out of the spotlight, spend time with your friends and family without them having to hear you drone on endlessly about your diet. Allow yourself and THEM to enjoy a meal without revolving it around your tupperware. It does alienate you from those around you. Some i could care less about. The people that say "let me know when you're done with your shows and we can go out" just wont hear from me. If you need me to drink or eat junk to be in my life...you can wait...indefinitely. But my dear family and friends, yes i will enjoy some time with them.

This is what i go through. ME. I have studied exercise and nutrition all my life. Dieted since i was in Jr High. Always played sports since my mom took me to a swim class at age 3. Masters degree in Kinesiology, minor in Sports Nutrition. I've competed in about 15 shows over the last 10 years. And afraid of a damn piece of fruit! I rebel. I eat. And there's a reason. The body(and mind/freedom) have been deprived so long, as in a famine. It is re-feeding itself to store for the next famine. It's a very hard thing to try to balance or moderate. So I eat. And I let myself because once it's run it's course, I can be me again. And then i come back to what i know to be true. And my energy comes back. My sanity comes back. Some people will eliminate food groups and eat competition clean all the time. Thats fine and we all live the life we choose. You have to do what resonates with you.

With that being said, what i like about it is that it does regulate my eating patterns by having a plan. I learn how to manipulate food and macronutrients in various forms to attain the appearance i desire. I love competing. But too much of anything can consume you. Dieting too long will take a toll on you, body and mind. It's funny because when I get to this point, no matter how great I've been on my diet and how much I like my food...as soon as that day hits...and we're all backstage...you KNOW we ALL have our goodie bags! And I realize I'm sane! I about DIED at NPC Governor's Cup when Figure went up DEAD LAST! I felt like there were just 12 of us sitting waiting for HOURS as EVERYONE else broke out the boxes of homemade cupcakes and cookies, Easter candy etc and all shared them around. errrr...I was hoping they'd just LEAVE! lol But I realized I was normal, and yes everyone rushes to BJ's or Cheesecake Factory for that celebratory meal. IT IS NOT CHEATING! After 12 weeks of doing what 99% of the population wouldn't even consider doing, ONE MEAL is well deserved!!! (most of us have...a lot....more)

For healthy non-competition what i have always been taught, and i believe in to this day is 80/20. If you are healthy/eat clean 80% of the time, you can have that treat 20% of the time.This time, I made the decision I always say I'm going to make. 80/20. I will get to my goal, 125 MY way. 80/20. A cheat meal. Honestly, I prefer the term 'treat' because the word 'cheat' is negative and makes me feel like I should be hiding in a closet eating it. Sometimes I'll 'quantify' my cheats. One "Cheat Meal" is a dinner at a restaurant- dinner dessert apps, the works! Sometimes you really need to shock the body also. OR, I'll allow myself Two "Treat Meals" which I qualify as a healthy option that might not be on my plan, for me this would be my soup and salad at Panera Bread.

I am at peace with myself. Sometimes I get mad at myself, yes. But everyday is a new day and one bad day is nothing when I know I have a history of success. You could get LAST place at a show. Forget that. What did you learn? Who was watching you, who did you inspire to try to make changes? You may not even know it. Those people at your gym, your friends, your family...they think you won. My dad tells my story as if I've won every show. :D I hear people promote me like I'm AMAZING! lol and yet my inner dialogue beats myself up. If you're a competitor, listen to yourself. Don't be too hard on yourself...just hard enough. ;)

Protein Pancakes - Labrada Strawberry Shortcake

Single serving recipe (I make a double batch)

1 whole egg
1/2c Lana's Egg Whites
1 scoop Labrada Lean Pro 8-Strawberry Ice Cream
1/2 cup Oatmeal
1 fruit (1/2c strawberries/1 banana)
* i like using one serving of each as the banana gives it a better consistency, but you can do 1c strawberries if you can only have them just be gentle with the cakes)

Blend all ingredients in a blender. Lightly coat pan with coconut oil. Pout batter to desired thickness. Once bubbles come through to the top it is time to flip them(very short amount of time on second side).

Makes approximately 4-5 cakes/serving. Smells amazing! ;)